oh manz tmr is my result day and im not really excited about it...part of me wants to noe how bad i have done but MAJOR part of me cant really be bothered to find out how bad it is...lol...well i guess i roughly have an idea how i will fare...near the exam period i jus kind of die offf...im not motivated or inspired to study at all...i can no longer study for the sake of study anymore...parents having expectation this kinda shit is no longer good enough a reason for me to read my ass off...in the past it willl...now it jus doesnt seem to work anymore...i need to find out what i really want...what am i living for...i need something...a reason...an aim...a goal...whatever works...u noe what...great ppl becomes great becos they have something inspired them to work their ass off to become this great...i have got nothing...oh my gosh im like this empty shell now...shall see tmr at amoy quee camp if i wan to see my result bahz...even if i do it probably wun affect me much also since i cannot really be bothered anymore...if it rreally do affect me its only becos im trying to figure out what i wan...and i guess no one will noe...cos no one actually listens to me...thats also the irony part...im always listening to ppl...and when i need someone...i find none...sometimes im really freaking tired...

and im starting to stay away from my secondary sch frenz alr...like really really stay away...ignoring msgs and calls...im really unhappy...feel like im very different from them and they dun understand me or dun actually bother to try to understand me...we are jus hanging out cos we are all used to hanging out together...and i no longer wants that kind of friendship...its tiring...i feel better when im alone...i prob dun see them as friends anymore...jus mere aquaintances...and its not jus them! my pri sch frenz also...it really piss me off when they ask me about something which i have repeatedly told them over and over again! it simply shows that they werent listening to me at all when i talk...so whats the point of me always listening to ppl...where are all the god damn fuck freak when i needed them!! geez!! and its good that im not really close with my army frenz...prob jus better with less than a handful...but soon that wun matter also alr...yea so actually im starting to distanting myself from a lot of ppl...and i dun even feel sad about it...in fact i feel liberated...its ok if no one cares...neither do i...and thats what drives me not to! its ok...few more days and the yr will be over...im almost done with most of the things...the last few things and birthday tht i actually care one is also coming to an end...next yr onwards...its really THATS IT alr...hahahaha...and this prob will be my last post...till i figure out everything...man i wish i will never grow up...too bad everyone has to grow up.................